Even if you feel there isn't any hope left for your marriage, I can carry enough hope for both of you, until you get your second wind and start to believe again in the love and the deeper forces that brought you two together as a couple from the start. I am an experienced couples counselor who can help.
I'm Erik Edler, LMFT, and my office is located in San Luis Obispo (SLO). I am accessible from across the Central Coast, including Pismo Beach and the Five Cities area, Santa Maria, and the surrounding cities. I would like to invite you to let the healing begin. Come early to take a stroll together, or stay later for dinner together at a nearby restaurant. Keep the conversation going, or just take time for a pleasant hour or two together. I believe couples counseling includes more than just the time spent in the therapy office.
My approach to couples counseling is very different from how most therapists do couples counseling, and it's important you understand this and keep this in mind. Although the therapy is designated couples counseling, I meet with each member of the couple individually, alternating each week. Periodically, I meet with the two members of the couple together. What I have learned about healthy and unhealthy couples over the years is simple: it takes two healthy individuals to make a healthy couple. A good relationship isn't something you can grab onto and manipulated directly; it's an emergent property of two healthy people coming together. I did the traditional form of therapy in my early years as a therapist, and have subsequently found that my new approach is much more successful and goes much more quickly.
Please note that although I meet with each member of the couple separately, there is always a "No secrets" policy in couples counseling. Meaning, you can say anything to the therapist in an individual session that you wouldn't want you spouse to know about. As a therapist, I always use discretion and good judgement about what each member of the couple says to me, but I can't be placed in the position of keeping secrets. The point of couples counseling is actually that the couple is the client, and I owe equal care to both members.
I have to say that ultimately, even if the marriage cannot last, I have found that the vast majority of couples on the rocks do decide that they know they need to do everything they possibly can, and give it absolutely everything they've got, before they make that fateful decision and go through with a divorce.
Many couples' counselors believe that when a couple is at rock-bottom, possibly ready to divorce, that's when they need to give it one more year of serious and concentrated effort. I believe in love and commitment, I believe in showing how much you love someone by how much effort you put into the process, and I am here to help you however I can. Erik E.